So I was spared a full 2 weeks wait for the $800 test. I only found out it's called the Panorama Prenatal Screen when they emailed the report over.

The genetic consultant called hubby last Thursday (17/12) to deliver the news. The probability for Down Syndrome is now <1/10000 according to this test with 99% accuracy.

Oh gosh, we were so relieved! I wanted to jump and celebrate, except I can't really jump. The test also picked up the chromosome readings easily so we also now know the gender of my baby. But shhh, I'm not telling yet. Watching people guess based on their 'experiences' is so much fun.

We're probably the only ones I know that know the gender of the baby at less than 14 weeks. Hubby was disappointed at the gender though, and moped about it for a couple of days until I ordered him to snap out of it.

So now that we've cleared this milestone, I hope the little one is still fine in me. A hint of a baby bump has started to appear. I swear it's real this time! Although my belly still looks smaller than when I got OHSS. I always thought I looked 3 months pregnant during my OHSS ordeal, but it seems I had looked further along than I thought.

I will be 15 weeks along this Christmas. It's time to start announcing the good news. Here's a pic of baby in my belly at 13 weeks, 2 days; 7cm. Compare that to the 'abstract art' in my 2nd Antenatal dating scan. At least when I show this picture, no one is asking me "How does this work?" anymore.

So here we are, in the middle of yet another '2 week wait'. This time, my Schrodinger's Cat is in a lab somewhere in the hospital.

It. Just. Never. Ends.

Last Monday (7/12), we went for the Fetal Abnormality Screening. I had been nervous about the scan for a while but largely distracted by the morning sickness to fall over myself in worry.

The ultrasound scan was surreal. For the very first time, we saw the baby move. It moved! It was waving its arms in what looked like a salute, and it was turning around and flipping. And I swear I could see the silhouette of hubby's nose on the baby. I wonder if this means it's a boy!

We walked out of the scan room in a sense of wonder while waiting for the results. It measures about 5.6cm, but it was moving so excitedly!

But then the doctor presented the chilling results to us. There was a high risk that the baby may get Down Syndrome; more specifically, a 1 in 112 chance. This was 90% accurate

The next day, we opted for the other blood test that will be 99% accurate, and cost about $800. But the results can only be out in 2 weeks. 2 weeks of hell.

Yesterday, we went for the gynae checkup. The first official one after I 'graduated' from the fertility clinic. This time it was really hard to have to grimly watch the baby happily wriggling in the womb, dreaming of life; when its fate is so uncertain now. It has grown ever so slightly more, and is now measuring at 7cm.

I went through most of last week coping by being really busy and involved with work. It's not working this week at all. After a year of emotional trauma, after 3 episodes of OHSS madness, after suffering physical pain for 3 consecutive months; there is that possibility that I may have to interrupt this pregnancy. And after I have passed the torturous 1st trimester too!

We went for the 2nd dating scan on 16 Nov Monday, and I was so pleased that I have been promoted from the transvaginal probe to the 'over-the-belly' kind (what is this called?).

I was a little stunned as she placed the probe on my lower belly and immediately, the sac and the 'blob' inside it appeared on the screen. It has grown so much! From a little pulsating light in the dark of the ocean, I can now see a tiny humonoid shape (can you see the head shape in that picture!!); the pulsating heartbeat right in the middle of the chest.

A sense of relief washed over me. Yes, I had been paranoid. The internet overflowing with stories of failed pregnancies in every corner is really not a good place to live in.

And that was the good news. My little diamond is growing well at 26mm!

The bad news was... that the 2nd sac remained empty and silent; an abyss. I was really disappointed. Although I had been more paranoid for my 1st sac than hopeful for my 2nd, the disappointment I felt then in the room was huge. I had for weeks entertained the eager thought that I could settle 2 pregnancies in 1 go and leave my uterus alone once and for all. But now I may have to go through the ordeal all over again for a 2nd child. Having just recovered from OHSS, the thought is horrifying.

But that's another scenario for another day. Right now, I am just focussing on being grateful that sac no. 1 looks healthy. Hubby was grinning from ear to ear for the next 1/2 hour after the scan, although he probably didn't realise it.

3 weeks ago, the machine claimed I was 5.7 weeks pregnant. Exactly 3 weeks later, I am suddenly 9.4 weeks pregnant. Where did the 5 days go to? Dr Jerry Chan later ascertained the latter date is correct, and my full term will be on 17 June 2016 (That's my daddy's birthday! He's going to be so thrilled!)

Next appointment: Fetal Abnormality Scan on 7 Dec for risk of Down Syndrome. This is another huge milestone to cross.

Grow healthy and well, my dearest little diamond.

Meanwhile, I have clean forgotten what it is like to not feel sick all the time; have a normal appetite; have a brain that doesn't feel like mud half the time; nor to sleep soundly through an entire night...

I am so sick of wanting to throw up all the time. Why do they call this "Morning Sickness" when it happens throughout the day; randomly; and sometimes more acute in the evening? Ondansetron, the promised 'wonder pill' for morning sickness useless on its own. I need to take it with Prochlorperazine for any relief at all.

And there is this pain in my abdomen that feels like someone punched me in the guts and I badly want to throw up. I've been prescribed several gastric-related medication and all of them are useless.

Well, at least the OHSS seem to have waned about 2 weeks ago, lasting a grand total of around a month, more than 2 weeks longer than the promised 12 days by the doctor.

Let me just say that OHSS X Morning Sickness is not funny at all. The breathlessness, the pain, the exhaustion, the bloated tummy, the nausea that you no longer know whether is induced by OHSS or the pregnancy...

And my tummy is thankfully all deflated now after the OHSS liquid got pee-ed out. In fact, thanks (or no thanks!) to the loss of appetite and constant nausea, I lost 1-2kg since before the OHSS a month ago. During the height of my OHSS when I looked several months pregnant, I truthfully didn't think I'd see my flat tummy again until at least next year.

I am officially 8.5 weeks pregnant today and wondering how long before the baby bump appears. I hope the weight loss is not affecting the pregnancy in any way!

Apart from the nausea and loss of appetite, I seem to have gained a new superpower in the form of a heightened sense of smell (hyperosmia). I seem to be able to smell 'details' in various odours I have not experienced before. For example, I can suddenly only smell the chemicals in my favorite shower gel and hand soap which I used to find fragrant. The chemical smell in the soap assaults me relentlessly after every shower and hand wash, making my nausea worse.

I now know how my cat feels as she wrinkles her little nose and bolt every time I spray a scent in her direction.

And assorted food smells so pungent! My body have suddenly rejected my favorite Tonkotsu ramen, gagging me with the aroma that I once salivated to. Another one of my favorite foods: Sambal Stingray, now smells like rotten trash.

And my on-again off-again craving for McNuggets dipped in curry sauce? I now know how much chemicals the Curry Sauce contain. I mean, I could taste almost every non-peanut ingredient chemical in that unassuming brown sauce as I crunched into my McNuggets last week. I'm swearing off that sauce until I can't taste it again. Wait a minute, that means my super power extends to my heightened sense of taste as well...

Anyway, Monday is my next scan. Monday is the day I will know for sure if my second sac has lighted up, and whether my first sac is still doing well. I am so nervous!!

I almost choked with emotion when Dr Jerry Chan announced "We can see the sac".

Sac! "What's a sac?" I needed to confirm. He briefly explained to little bimbo me exactly what I thought it is.

That was last Friday. Dr Chan had got us to go down after I complained about the intense cramps that had suddenly appeared. So he wanted to do a quick check to ensure there was no miscarriage, and that was when we got our first look at the little gestational sac via the ultrasound.

At least 1 diamond made it...


And Monday 26/10 was THE dating and viability scan. I was glad I had gotten a quick preview on Friday so my nerves weren't too frayed.

This was the more precise scan done vaginally. The probe searched, and it was like searching for deep sky objects through the telescope at the night skies back in the '90s; manually, without the motorised pointer.

And when the gestational sac peeked into view, it was as satisfying as locating the nebula. There was 1, and there was another. There were 2 sacs! Twins! The lady doctor probed a little more and focused on the bigger sac. There was a pulse of light in the little sac. It was like a blinking light from the lighthouse in the dark of the ocean..

I am 100% pregnant with the gestational sac growing in the right place. I was so relieved. The 2nd sac was silent though. No lighthouse from that ocean.

Although a little disappointed, I was grateful that at least 1 made it. I finally cleared this stage!

Dr Chan seemed so pleased that it was a singleton pregnancy. He had strongly advised trying for twins right from the start. "You don't know what we have seen" was his dark warning a lifetime ago.

Hubby says this may be a blessing. There must be a reason why the doctors are so wary of multiple pregnancies. Deep down, I am still hoping that the light will appear in the 2nd sac during the next scan...



Meanwhile, the OHSS just simply refuses to leave me. I still look 3 months more pregnant than I really am. At times, it seems to be growing; other times, it seems to be subsiding. What is going on! And the pain in my torso oooohhhh.

The doctors are at their wits' end at my condition too. Since I seem to still be able to function, they're not overly concerned.

I suddenly developed an insane craving for grapes sometime last week; specifically purple and red grapes. And now it is suddenly my favorite fruit.

These little bundles of sweet gems are a surprising relief to nausea! You don't have to eat an entire bowl of it. When I get a spell of nausea that the Ondansetron cannot deal with, I pop in a couple of grapes, and chew them slowly; one at a time. Immediate relief.

So far it has worked 90% of the time.

The little problem with grapes is that I'm terrified of eating too much of them at one sitting at the moment. They're classified as 'heaty' fruits, and are sort of contributing to my stubborn cough. I can't wait for my cough to be gone so I can down these lovely grapes bunch by bunch.

Today is Day 27 since my diamonds got fertilised. So the hospital calling with a "Congrats! You're pregnant!" after the blood test isn't the end of it. Dr Jerry Chan reminded us in an email on the day of the pregnancy test that we still needed to wait for the scan 2 weeks later to "confirm the viability of the pregnancy".

After which I got all nervous again. There is a 2 weeks wait AFTER the 2 weeks wait!! OMG nobody told me about this!!

What can I do to ensure my little diamonds survive well till then? And there's that stupid home pregnancy test I did before the blood test that tugs at my sleeve whenever I ran out of things to worry about. Stupidest thing I did this cycle.

The scan is on 26 Oct Mon, 4 more days. I just recently found out that they calculate your pregnancy from the first day of your Last Menstrual Period (LMP). I am such a noob in all these. This means I am 6 weeks 3 days pregnant according to my doctor. 6 weeks seem like such a long time already! At least I hope I am still pregnant...

My doctor, who by the way, discouraged us to break the news to our parents when we told him we haven't done so yet last week. Everything rests on the scan on 26 Oct to determine that there is no "chemical pregnancy". So far.

So.. hold our horses.

Meanwhile, my OHSS is really getting annoying. It's like an ex-boyfriend that won't let go, traumatising every aspect of my life for my undivided attention.

The bloated-ness in my tummy makes me look 3 months' pregnant. It's hard to meet people I know and attempt to explain that no my tummy is not what you think it is. You see, we are keeping my IVF ordeal completely classified from the people we know until we are sure of success. I can't handle the "So how is it?"s in case everything falls apart. I'd have to focus all energy on remaining sane.

And when the pain comes... it is pure torture. New cramps at my lower abdomen started on Tuesday. The nausea is getting hard to reign in. I get severe intense pain in my abdomen in the middle of the night EVERY NIGHT. Today is Day 16 since the start of this Late Onset OHSS. How long more!!!

I have been on Hospitalisation Leave since 25 Sep. I am so fortunate I am self-employed and able to have a flexible schedule. How do employed women deal with being away from work for a month!