Like what I said in my previous post, we've started to tell people I'm expecting. It's always nice to tell that to friends who have recently become parents themselves so their pregnancy experiences, recommendations, and advice are still fresh in their heads.

Most of the advice are more or less the same, but the most interesting recommendation I received was from a girlfriend who ordered me to buy this stretch marks prevention cream IMMEDIATELY.

I had been quite apprehensive about the prospect of stretch marks, but have since accepted that it was part of a mom's sacrifice. Until my girlfriend appears with this shining beam of hope that I may be spared from the scars of a snapped tummy. She happily says she started using the cream as soon as she knew she was pregnant, and never developed a single mark. Her son is now 1 year old.

So I bought said cream over the next few days.

The Mustela Stretch Marks Prevention Cream was made in France and cost me SGD49.50 a tube. The reviews online seem mostly positive, although some women still developed stretch marks ultimately even after religious use. A quick check on Mustela's website for details of their 'clinically tested' results showed that the tests were only carried out on 20+ women, with no information on the women's age range or race. (Yes, I believe different race's skin types do make a difference in results for cosmetic cream)

But who cares! I'm gonna try it out. So far, I've applied it for 5 days already. The on-again off-again itchiness on my growing belly has been off-again since I started applying. But it's only been 5 days so I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

The cream is runnier than I expected so a load tend to ooze out when you squeeze it too hard (actually I only applied a little pressure), so be careful there.

There is a slight fragrance from the cream that my newly pregnancy-induced Hyperosmia is not rejecting, so I guess that means it is more or less natural instead of chemical.

Well, I can only update whether the cream really works after my baby pops out and my tummy deflates, so let's hope for the best.


This is a non-paid product review. Want me to review your product? Contact me at  taru.contact at gmail.com.

It's only been 5 days since the ovum pick up, but it felt like months had transpired. Time really slows down when you're totally not enjoying yourself. My tummy is so bloated I looked a few months pregnant. But after the last round in March, I'm done with all the low self-esteem stuff.

I've been in and out of KK hospital since last year for various reasons, and today is the very first day I get an afternoon appointment slot. You can tell I'm not a morning person when something this trivial makes me somewhat happy.

So fast forward into the procedure room. We get the nice small un-daunting room this time. While I had to be wheeled into the department on Monday, I could at least amble slowly in myself today. The bouts of nausea was excruciating. The pain had subsided a little but it still friggin' hurts. And I still can't stand / walk upright for more than 5 minutes without going out of breath.

Not having to wait is the way to go. I guess I was the last patient of the day. The doctor actually arrived before me (for once! And I wasn't late ok!) Dr Chan did a quick scan and determined mine to be a relatively mild case of OHSS. He told a horror story of a pregnant woman in the ward above who is so bloated she's just waiting in agony to get literally drained.

I had 7 embryos alive on Monday that went through blastocyst. The rest of the 22 ovaries hadn't made it till Monday. 2 are ready for transfer today. 1 looked promising, 1 needed further observation, while the last one died.

And he laid out my cards.

1. Do the fresh transfer today. There is no medication for OHSS. My relatively mild case is bound to go away on its own (soon we all hope). The implication was that if I do get pregnant from the transfer today, it WILL come back with a vengeance, a la the poor girl in the torture chambers above.

2. Freeze the embryos. Let the OHSS go away before doing the thaw cycle after my next round of period. Which was what we did the last time. There is a 10% chance of the embryos dying upon thawing and also the stress if defrosting may harm them.

The 2 men; my hubby and Dr Chan both looked perplexed and said I had to make the decision myself. But I already know what they think was obvious.

'CAUSE THE MEN DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS PAIN DAMMIT.

I was jammed between a rock and a hard place. But I was done with emotional pain after the previous 2 failed thaw cycle rounds. I'll try my hand with lady luck on the physical pain card.

So I took a deep breath and said "Ok, I'll do it today." Without missing a beat, the doctor said "I knew you'd say that." and turned around promptly to proceed with the paperwork.

I petulantly announced I want to be a man in my next life. Everybody in the room was amused.

The blastocyst embryos looked so different from the regular ones. Dr Chan described the fully expanded one as looking like a shining solitaire diamond.

My 2 little diamonds... Play your duet and grow...

Oh man, I hope it works this time! Hubby absolutely forbids me to name the embryos this time. "Stop it!" he says, when I suggested these 2 were 'Earl' and 'Forest'.

My little diamonds...

Black Widow: A victim of Reverse-Sexism imposed by the crazy feminists.

Marvel's Avengers: Age Of Ultron. I watched that movie on Day 10 of my 2 weeks wait after the embryo transfer of my IVF cycle. The movie was entertaining, much better than the first Avengers movie; but still laced with lots of cheesy cringe-worthy dialogue. To me, it was just another testosterone-heavy Hollywood block buster. Thank goodness for Black Widow kicking ass on God-level even though she's just a mere mortal assassin.

Fast forward a week. I went for the pregnancy blood test crossing my fingers for the embryo transfer to have worked. It was negative and my world came crashing down. Again.

Still reeling from the frustration and emotional exhaustion and not quite having come to terms that I needed to do the IVF cycle again, I wander aimlessly on the internet and stumbled upon a rabid nest of militant feminists who are RAGING because Black Widow in the Age Of Ultron movie is sad that she can't have kids.

While I was puzzling over logical fallacies when watching the movie (that table could handle the weight of Thor's hammer. Is it worthy?), some other women were furious over Black Widow embracing her gender's baggage.

Reading all the hate from these awful feminists made me cry all over again. What is their problem? Why are they trivialising a woman's inability to conceive? These are self-righteous women who have never had to fight infertility while wanting kids with the man they love. Let me say this: Women who have NOT personally experienced infertility first hand have NO IDEA what kind of hell this is.

And no, first hand is not hearing all about it from 'my sister', 'my cousin', or 'my colleague's sister's best friend's classmate'. First hand is YOU having to face the dark chasm alone. All alone. If you have never worn this pair of shoes, you have no right to assume a breezy self-righteous attitude towards another woman's infertility.

For the record, I think it's lame that the Final Test in the Red Room to being an assassin is to get sterilised. But if we're going to work with that premise, then yes; As someone fighting infertility right now, I find it entirely plausible for a female mortal character; whether or not she's a kickass assassin / spy whatsoever; to get emotional over a barren womb while facing the man she loves and wants to run away with. It makes the character a believable human being and not the plastic action figure that the militant feminists so desperately want.

Also, why did nobody carve out a slice of beef when the Hulk said essentially the exact same thing as Black Widow? If I remember correctly, he said something like "I can't ever have kids! Do the math!" in an equally frustrated way.

So it's ok when a man is sad about infertility but not ok when it's a woman who bemoans it? So I can't want a baby very much more than a man because I'm in an age where men and women NEED to enjoy emotional equality even though our hormonal construct is so very different?

What is this, some kind of 'Reverse-Sexism'??

For example, there's this self-proclaimed disappointed feminist fan of Joss Whedon, Sara Stewart who tried to be passive but in between the lines sounded like a desperate girl who just wants her lady balls stroked.

"..OK, but either of those characters (Jane Foster and Pepper Potts) would really have upped the quotient of substantive females onscreen in this nearly two-and-a-half-hour sausage-fest. Seriously, you couldn't get Gwyneth or Natalie for a couple days?"

Seriously, if you want girl power, go watch another movie. Like Hunger Games. Or Divergent. Or one of those female empowerment movies that's so popular nowadays. If you're subscribing to the Marvel franchise, then KNOW before you go that you're signing up for a sausage fest, and quit bitching about it.


Firstly, what in heaven's name is wrong with a woman being pregnant?? Why are some feminists so uncomfortable with the fact that we are the birthing gender that they reject ALL sorts of pregnant imagery and birthing references on the big screen? That's Reverse-Sexism right there!

The introduction of Hawkeye's preggie wife was obviously the lead-up to the conversation between Hulk and Black Widow. A contrast of their desired 'normal' family life as opposed to the cursed one that the superheroes have to live with; the unwanted weight of the world on their shoulders and the moral inability to 'run away' and settle down.

The housewife beef I can relate to. The man brings home the bread; the woman cooks and takes care of the kids. Yeah, I have a problem with that gender role stereotype which I despise too.

But here's the reality: I know lots of housewives; who prefer to call themselves Stay-At-Home-Moms, or SAHM for short; who would be seriously offended that the SAHM life they chose for themselves is viewed as 'reductive gender shit'. I'd so love to throw Sara and a couple of my more vocal SAHM friends into the same ring and watch them claw it out (wonder what kind of dark fate would've befallen me if I'm a man who says this).

More whining from Sara: "And Claudia Kim plays Dr. Helen Cho, who can apparently do brilliant things with genetics but mostly just gets mind-warped by the villainous Ultron and, later, beaten up by him."

Now look here, EVERYBODY got mind-warped in the movie by Scarlet witch, but Sara only complained about Helen Cho. Why? Because the one who did the mind-warping was the guy? May I remind that the primary arc in the first Avengers movie was Hawkeye getting major mind-warped by Loki. A man who got mind-warped by another man. Why don't somebody go pick on that. And Ultron was beating up every other living thing that pisses him off in his path without prejudice. But for some reason, Sara only saw Helen The Woman.


When I call myself a feminist, I fancy myself someone who believes in reasonable equal social rights between the gender.

Reasonable here means within our gender's different physical and hormonal limit.

For most of my adult life, I struggle against unreasonable cultural expectations and oppression of my gender. The last thing I need is this crazy feminists' brand of 'Reverse-Sexism' thing taking off.

Oh everybody knows how it's like. The moment you don the wedding gown and thereafter, The Question gets fired at you endlessly, especially from relatives who have no imagination for conversation starters.


"When are you planning to have a baby?"

"Your parents are getting old, you should get a baby soon"

"Why are you waiting? You should have a kid!"

"Look at (insert cousin's name) and (some other name). They're having their 2nd kid. When's your turn!"

"You've already been married for 2 years, when's the kid coming along?"

"Kids are awesome! When are you having one too!"

"You're not young anymore, you should have a baby soon"


Over the years, every single time The Question is tuned my way, I impress myself with a display of dazzling self-restraint not to fire back an equally rude salvo. ("When are you planning to lose weight? You look like a hippo." / "Fine. Lend us your room. We'll make one right now.")

Only our parents are qualified to ask The Question. ("If you're not the one who participated in the act of birthing me, please go bother your own kids.")

And don't even get me started on why is the female usually the one on the receiving end of these questions.

Sometimes I wonder if they deliberately aim to annoy or are just downright insensitive. There is no such thing as 'well meaning' to The Question, just pure nosiness. And there are lots of reasons why people do not have kids.

1. They may be enjoying their couple-hood now and maybe plan for kids in the future. (Like we were)

2. They may be facing infertility issues; in which case, the only thing that intrusive question brings is misery. (Like we are now)

3. They may not even like kids at all! (Like Hubby used to)


So if you are one of those nosy aunts (and uncles!) or giddy new parents who thinks you're being 'well-meaning', this is a guide for you:

Basic Guide to not be an A-hole to the childless people around you:

When you have a new baby,

You don't get some kind of default entitlement to say: "So when's your turn?" to every other childless married friend that comes along to congratulate you. Chances are your friends won't rejoice as sincerely with you the next time you get knocked up.

When you're stuck in an awkward family dinner,

The best conversation starter is NOT "So when are you having a baby?"
If you feel an irresistible urge to break some deafening silence, please talk about the weather instead of inquiring about breeding programs.

When you get hit with a wave of verbal diarrhoea on how awesome your kid is,

Please turn around and talk to the wall instead. If they didn't ask, that means NO ONE is interested in hearing you brag about how smart junior is. Look closer and you'll see that their polite smiles are cracking with boredom.

When you feel like it is your responsibility to educate the world on why they should have kids:

The world don't give a rat's hiney what you think. Please go away.

Image source: stoven2005

Here are some IVF Tips that I wish I had on how to cope before I started the IVF party. For anyone who has not gone through this before and is about to embark on their journey!


1. Keep your body strong and healthy

Once the IVF procedure starts, you may or may not be disposed enough to do real exercises. So try to keep your body constitution good and immunity high by doing regular exercises in the lead up to your IVF procedure. Falling sick while pumping your body with hormonal drugs can be a real bitch. I unfortunately went down with food poisoning in the middle of my IVF, and it was not fun.

So take responsibility for your body and ensure your body is in tip top condition as best as you can.

Tips include:
- Avoid a sore throat and bad cough by taking it easy with fried food and cold drinks
- Avoid a cold or flu by not exposing yourself to wet weather or sudden extreme temperature changes

2. Anticipate a hormonal sandstorm of side effects 

This highly depends on the individual's body constitution. What you and especially your partner need to anticipate is the possibility of you turning into a werewolf like you do during PMS. The people around you must understand in advance that if you descend into a moody snappy abyss, it's the hormones talking, not you.

Then there are the bodily discomforts. What I went through included slight feverish feelings, random nausea spells, heat flushes, headaches, and an assortment of other hormonal cocktail. I didn't know about the side effects beforehand and seriously thought I was falling sick. I've heard that weight gain is normal. Luckily for me, I didn't gain more than a couple of 100grams.


3. Set an alarm for your injections, and portion your medication in pill cases in advance

If you're even half the scatterbrain like me, you should become best friends with the alarm on your calendar. I did after I almost missed a couple of Lucrin injections. Also, the medication will become so routine that you will forget if you had it already. So it really helps to portion your pills beforehand. If necessary, you can even label the date/time to ingest them.

My 'chocolate' pill case

4. Anticipate a haphazard schedule of visits to the hospital

This means do your holidaying BEFORE you start the IVF procedure. Or other stuff like renovation plans and so on. Keep your schedule absolutely free and on the beck and call of the hospital.


5. Keep your environment clean, calm and soothing

6. Pamper yourself silly

Oohh, eat all that chocolate while you can!! Forgive yourself for going on a shopping spree. Just think twice before buying that skimpy dress. For once, you are hoping you won't be able to fit in that in a few months' time.

One of the doodads I splurged on was a Thomas Sabo Karma Bracelet that I had been eyeing on for a while but had no reason to buy it without feeling guilty about spending the money. So I managed to convince myself that buying that will release euphoric endorphins that will combat the hormonal sandstorm caused by the Lucrin. It totally worked.

Guilt-free shopping rocks!

Oh and get a massage! After you're pregnant, you'll read so many unscientific literature on why you can't get a massage that you'll be too damned scared to get one. So now is a good time to get a nice soothing rub.

Said doodad: Thomas Sabo Karma bracelet with Tree of Life and Rose Quartz charm

7. Work from home
Changing my operations to be home-based is one of the best decisions I made 2 years ago. It helps when I need to take sudden breaks from the side effects, or when it is time for the injections. Lucrin and Menopur needs to be chilled constantly so it's a relief to not have to ferry them around in ice bags all the time.

Whenever I think of all the women who has to work in the office while going through IVF, I really have to take my metaphorical hat off them. See if you can negotiate with your boss for a temporary work from home arrangement if you can.



8. Brief hiatus from pregnant friends and proud mommies

The hormonal sandstorm can be exhausting, and at the back of your mind, the fear that everything won't work out is very real. It's stressful enough to have to wade through the 1001 baby pictures with gushing captions that your friends upload onto Facebook. It can be a bigger challenge to your sanity when your new-mommy friends proudly brag about how smart their juniors are (they can't restrain themselves, they tried), or when your pregnant friends talk about their exciting preparations to welcome their babies. And even if you won't admit it, you really are envious to death at your friends who can breed by virtue of humping like rabbits.

I'm definitely not saying to stay away from them. I love my friends! But just for these few weeks, at least until your embryo transfer is complete, maybe reserve the days as quality time to bond with your partner instead.


9. In case of OHSS... 

OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) is relatively rare so don't lose sleep worrying about whether you'll get it if it hasn't happened to you.

But if you really do strike OHSS lottery like me, there is no known medication for OHSS but the doctors will give you hormone drugs to calm the hormonal storm in your body. It will go away on its own eventually so try your best to put up with the crippling pain for now. You are not alone, and it will be over soon! I promise!

(My OHSS Ordeal is documented here)


10. Stay positive and happy

And finally, positivity and staying happy is the key!

Here's a cute picture of a kitten to make you smile. Good luck to you!