Oh everybody knows how it's like. The moment you don the wedding gown and thereafter, The Question gets fired at you endlessly, especially from relatives who have no imagination for conversation starters.


"When are you planning to have a baby?"

"Your parents are getting old, you should get a baby soon"

"Why are you waiting? You should have a kid!"

"Look at (insert cousin's name) and (some other name). They're having their 2nd kid. When's your turn!"

"You've already been married for 2 years, when's the kid coming along?"

"Kids are awesome! When are you having one too!"

"You're not young anymore, you should have a baby soon"


Over the years, every single time The Question is tuned my way, I impress myself with a display of dazzling self-restraint not to fire back an equally rude salvo. ("When are you planning to lose weight? You look like a hippo." / "Fine. Lend us your room. We'll make one right now.")

Only our parents are qualified to ask The Question. ("If you're not the one who participated in the act of birthing me, please go bother your own kids.")

And don't even get me started on why is the female usually the one on the receiving end of these questions.

Sometimes I wonder if they deliberately aim to annoy or are just downright insensitive. There is no such thing as 'well meaning' to The Question, just pure nosiness. And there are lots of reasons why people do not have kids.

1. They may be enjoying their couple-hood now and maybe plan for kids in the future. (Like we were)

2. They may be facing infertility issues; in which case, the only thing that intrusive question brings is misery. (Like we are now)

3. They may not even like kids at all! (Like Hubby used to)


So if you are one of those nosy aunts (and uncles!) or giddy new parents who thinks you're being 'well-meaning', this is a guide for you:

Basic Guide to not be an A-hole to the childless people around you:

When you have a new baby,

You don't get some kind of default entitlement to say: "So when's your turn?" to every other childless married friend that comes along to congratulate you. Chances are your friends won't rejoice as sincerely with you the next time you get knocked up.

When you're stuck in an awkward family dinner,

The best conversation starter is NOT "So when are you having a baby?"
If you feel an irresistible urge to break some deafening silence, please talk about the weather instead of inquiring about breeding programs.

When you get hit with a wave of verbal diarrhoea on how awesome your kid is,

Please turn around and talk to the wall instead. If they didn't ask, that means NO ONE is interested in hearing you brag about how smart junior is. Look closer and you'll see that their polite smiles are cracking with boredom.

When you feel like it is your responsibility to educate the world on why they should have kids:

The world don't give a rat's hiney what you think. Please go away.

Image source: stoven2005