13 June 2016, Sunday 6am.

I woke up at my bladder's command; something I had grown accustomed to at this hour.

As usual, I fumbled my way to the toilet in a zombie-fied state. As usual, I sleepily patted the kitty who was sleeping on the sink in the darkness while I eased down onto the toilet bowl.

Not as usual, I felt something slippery and lumpy slither out of me at the end of my piss. I jerked awake. The Mucus Plug! I flipped on the light switch and examined the contents. Sure enough, there was a lump of blood in the toilet bowl, and some bloody discharge.

I groaned. It was Sunday very morning, and I am still asleep. 2 days ago on Friday, we had set an appointment with Dr Jerry Chan to check into the hospital for induction on 16 June if I was still pregnant by then. I had fully (ok half) expected to enjoy one last weekend and to finish up my work over the next few days before the delivery.

I went back to bed. This was way too early in the morning for me. I tried to will myself back to sleep. I'll deal with this in the morning.

But baby wasn't giving up. 10 minutes later, the contractions started. And the cat meowed at that exact moment. The cat never meows at that hour. The cat knows.

These contractions were different from the Braxton Hicks that had been plaguing me for the past month or so. These contractions were like some of the worst period cramps I had, and they were spaced about 10 minutes apart.

I looked over at hubby who was starting to stir from my restlessness on the bed.

"Are you awake?"
"Why?"
"I think it's today."

Hubby shot up.

"Really? Do we go hospital now?"
"... Let's wait for a bit."

So we started to prepare. I had a long good shower, and a breakfast of soya bean and Youtiao. The contractions were still bearable, so I opened up my laptop and tried to finish up some work. By noon, the pain had gotten worse. When the cramps came, I would be rendered slightly immobile. So we drove to the hospital.

I was curiously calm about the impending labour. There was no panic, no overt excitement or anxiety. We even had Mcdonald's for lunch before proceeding to the Triage for examination.

1:30pm, I was determined to be in early labour. But my cervix was still not open. The house officer says active labour could be as early as a few hours, or as long as a few days. I was given the choice to get warded and wait, or go home and wait. I chose to go home.


The Active Labour

We took a good nap when we reached home with kitty curled at our feet. Something we were so glad that we did later on.

By evening, the contractions started to get worse and closer together. It was around 7-8pm after dinner with my parents when we returned to the hospital. By this time, I had been rendered immobile by the contraction and Hubby now had to send me back up to the delivery suite in a wheelchair.

The pain now felt like the past 9 months' worth of period cramps returned to me all at once on a jumbo platter.

In the delivery suite, they announced I was 3-4cm dilated and in active labour. I demanded the epidural, which they promised will be given immediately, like, now. So apparently, "immediate" and "now" in KKH was more than an hour later. I had to make do with the ridiculously non-existent placebo effect of the laughing gas in the meantime. The laughing gas was really an unfunny joke. It didn't work at all, and it made me want to throw up.

When the anaesthetist finally arrived with my epidural, I was close to tears from the pain. But I have to say, the relief was heavenly. I cannot imagine how it is like to deliver without the pain relief.

The nurses injected oxytocin to speed up the contractions. It was my first birth, and everyone was confident that I would have to wait till at least 6-8am before I would be fully dilated.

It was now 11:30pm. I as 6cm dilated. I could hardly feel my left leg due to the epidural, but the contraction pain was starting to creep into my right bum. I told the resident doctor so, and she in turn got the anaesthetist to prepare for an epidural top up because "it's going to be a long night".

So I received the top up and all feeling around my waist to bum was gone and all while the doctor and nurses monitored baby's heartbeat and my contractions with concern.

12am. The resident doctor decided to check my dilation again. And surprise! I was fully dilated at 10cm, with the baby rapidly descending! The room came alive. The nurses were excited that they didn't have to camp out here with me the entire night after all. Dr Jerry Chan was informed and he was probably cursing about the strange hour.

Now this was 5 minutes after I had the epidural top up when the nurses started to demand I push. I couldn't feel anything at all. I had to use my memory of my worst constipation to abstractly push. And I promptly vomited after my first try.

I had also started to shiver and shake like nobody's business even though I got increasingly warm. Just some side effects of the epidural no one told me about.

And so began the more than 2 hours of pushing, shaking, and vomiting. I got a few minutes' break after every episode of heaving while using my intensely shaking hands to hold up my stone weight legs. And the oxytocin made me feel so drowsy that I had to struggle with all my might to keep my eyes open in between the pushing.


The Delivery

The signal to push started before I could vocalize that.

As promised, this was the last push. I watched as the good doctor pulled out this miniature human. He was limp and wet and bloody. 2 seconds later, the miniature human came alive with a wail. Dr Chan did a very quick wipe down of the baby, flipped the baby around and skilfully placed him on my chest. The wailing naked baby shivered in uncertainty. His blood stained my arms and chest while he snuggled on my breast. The wailing died down and his little hands sought comfort and security on my skin.

I looked at him in amazement and uttered my first words to my son: "Hello."

Not the most inspired thing to say, I know. But I was so overwhelmed. Nothing I've ever read; there is no literature out there, that can concisely capture the moment when a first time mom sees her child being dragged out of her and prepare her for this feeling of awe, relief, anxiety (is baby healthy?) and wonderment.

I was awash with fatigue, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. So innocent. So sinless. So vulnerable. So helpless. This little being that just a few hours ago, was hiccupping in my tummy while squeezing into his favorite spot under my left rack of ribs.

After all that has happened, after all the ordeal since last year, I finally met my son.

I have finally graduated to be a mother.

It's been a while! So many things have happened in the pregnancy department since my Week 28 update.

Let's see. Firstly, I ditched Specialist Clinic C in KK Hospital once and for all. To hell with subsidised clinics. Whichever minister that declared our subsidised clinics provide care that is just as good as the private ones have obviously never queued nor get attended by those doctors before.


WEEK 29

The plan have always been to switch to a private doctor when I reach Week 34 or something. But the last visit on Week 29 was something else. Most of the doctors at Clinic C have always been nice although they were young, and very obviously not as experienced. But they try, and I appreciate that they'll move on to be specialists after they gain enough experience points. But not that doctor at Room 10. The doctor in Room 10 looks like she's the oldest doctor in Clinic C and have probably been there for 10 years, and she'll probably forever be a junior doctor there.

After queueing for 4 hours on 31 March, all she asked when I finally entered the room was something along the line of "Do you bleed." No. "Ok you're fine." When I tried to tell her I had been having periodic cramps in my groin area that I never had before, she said "Next time it cramps go to A&E." Oh that is so helpful.

And that was it. I was ushered out the door. I don't think she even looked at me the entire time of 3 minutes that I was in the room.

A few days later, a member from S-Presto; a research study I was participating as a subject at KK Hospital called to inform me that I had an abnormally low Haemoglobin level and tried to confirm that the doctor I last met had already addressed this issue. I was shocked. No she did not.

Well she had my file, she had my results by the time I visited as the blood test was done before the visit, so she should have at least mentioned...? Anyway, be sure to bring it up to the next doctor I visit.

I was so angry when I heard this. That useless doctor! Immediately after that phone call, I called KK Hospital to schedule an appointment in the private suite. I am so done with the subsidised clinic.


WEEK 32

So on Week 32, I'm back under Dr Jerry Chan's care again. Waiting time was a breeze. He did the ultrasound check in the room. In the room! I didn't have to queue in a separate room or anything like that! And, he dropped the bombshell after the scan. My baby is 3 weeks behind in growth. "Oh, but you already know that right"

Huh what? Of cause I didn't! He was confused. He looked through my notes and records. All the previous scans under the subsidised clinics had indicated my baby was consistently small sized.

Hubby and I were stunned. I had always asked the doctors at the subsidised clinics if my small baby bump was anything to worry about and they have ALWAYS said don't worry, scan shows baby is normal.

I was so upset. I am never going to trust these subsidised doctors ever again.

So Dr Jerry Chan says there's nothing I can do about baby's size right now. But we decided to try our wild card: Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). Hubby's mom has a BFF who is a certified professor in TCM so we visited her clinic for some advice.

My main problem was with my intense pregnancy-induced gastric pain which stops me from eating hearty meals. This was a problem the western medicine haven't been able to solve with their little tablets. So she prescribed me with some medicine for the gastric pain and also to improve appetite.

And it worked! For the past 3 weeks, I have been eating 2 times more than what I used to eat. I still get the pain sometimes, especially if I accidentally take garlic or onions, but it was mild compared to the past.


WEEK 34

So my follow up with Dr Chan last week showed that my baby has grown! He attributed the growth to a 3rd trimester growth spurt. Maybe. Or maybe TCM rocks. As long as baby has grown, I'll just keep doing what I was doing.

Not posting the ultrasound pictures because they have gotten so abstract I no longer know what I'm looking at in the photos anymore.

I had been a little nervous about gestational diabetes. My mom got it while she was pregnant with me, and I've been quite liberal with sweet foods since the first trimester.

I was scheduled for the Glucose Tolerance Test on Thursday, Week 29, and was required to fast before the test for 8 hours. So I hadn't had breakfast and was a tired mess when I went for the test in the morning.

They first took 3 full tubes of my blood before giving me a bottle of orange liquid to ingest. The drink was NASTY. The coordinator promised me that this version of the drink was more pleasant than anything they ever had. It was some kind of orange flavored sugary beverage that was slightly carbonated. I thought I was an expert in sweet, but this awful liquid scratched at my throat while I gulped it down. Baby must have hated it too, making me all nauseous with gag reflex for at least half an hour afterwards.

16 minutes after drinking the bottle of sugar, they took another few tubes of my blood again. And finally, 2 hours later, several more tubes of blood. I was thoroughly drained by the end of the it. Did they really need so much blood just to compare the insulin levels before and after I took the sugar bomb?

I swear they must be cultivating baby vampires in the basement or something with all that blood. I had a total of 4 punctures between my arms because one of the blood taking attempt failed due to my mini veins.

When I was finally released for lunch, all I wanted to do was look for an empty consultation room and hibernate on the bed.

At least the Glucose Tolerance Test was free. (I'll tell you why in my next post.)

And the most important thing; the results. 4 hours later, doctor says it's normal. (Yes, the doctor consultation queue was that long!)

Well, Yay to more ice cream!!

That nasty sugar bomb; served cold.

I haven't been so fascinated with my belly button since I was 4 years old. My tummy is expanding by the day and the belly button is totally feeling the strain; getting squeezed out of the way. Although it hasn't been pushed out yet, it looks all squinty now. It amuses me every time I look at it in the mirror, like some alien life form landed on that spot.

Oh oh, and I am officially in my 3RD TRIMESTER!!

A Hard-Trotted Milestone

Around this time just 1 year ago, I was hospitalised for OHSS, and subsequently failed the first embryo transfer after the hospital discharge.

There have been so many traumatic disappointments along the way that even now with my tummy working hard to evict my belly button, I am still paranoid at every cramp, thinking I may lose the little one. I am so fearful of getting attached, so scared of putting my all into planning the nursery, and of jinxing myself and baby or something with my enthusiasm.

And that's why besides occasionally thinking of baby names, hubby and I hadn't planned anything at all yet for the little one's arrival.

In fact, we were so 'chill' with my pregnancy that when our friends found out 2 weeks ago that we hadn't started preparing anything, they were shocked. In contrast, our mutual friend whose EDD in August (2 months after me) have gotten half their nursery done up; with breast pumps, sterilisers and all well stocked up. Not to mention they've also already booked an infant care slot in a childcare center for... February 2017!

And there I was, still no inkling at all how the breast pump is supposed to work. (Ok, after that meeting, I have since grudgingly done some research and now know a little more about breast pumps)


Braxton Hicks?

On Sunday, I had a pulsating cramp near my groin area which lasted 2 days. I was close to freaking out while a more rational part of me concluded that it was probably this thing called the Braxton Hicks that I've been reading so much about online. The cramps seemed to have taken a break today. So I hope everything is fine.

There's a huge scan coming up this Thursday; the first since Week 20. Oh honey, I hope everything's fine in there!!


Thomson Medical Center or KK Hospital?

You know how friends have all sorts of recommendations? Hubby and I have been totally comfortable with KKH so far, but a friend whose wife delivered a little more than a year ago started dissing KKH when we met a while back, briefly assuming the role of TMC salesperson or something. His wife delivered at Thomson (TMC) and they swear by that place.

To be honest, I do like the conduciveness of TMC as opposed to KKH's sterile environment. So now we're a little torn on whether to change hospitals. The original plan was to switch from being a subsidized patient to private consultation with Dr. Jerry Chan after Week 30. But since Jerry only delivers in KKH, we'd have to look for another doctor if we were to change to TMC.

Something I didn't expect though: Doctor charges aside, the single wards for TMC seems to be a cheaper than KKH! We're going for the KKH hospital tour next Friday and will decide after that.


Meanwhile, our baby-related job this week is to clear out a room to start planning the nursery.

I wanted to do a post during Week 20; the halfway point. But I procrastinated a bit, and wham! Before I knew it, the Friday that just passed was Week 24!

Time is starting to fly now that the symptoms are subsiding. And I'm getting really nervous as the days of freedom are getting limited.

Let's see what's been going on recently pregnancy-wise...

1. Zika Virus
"Oh great, the epidemic have to happen when I'm pregnant." This must be what all pregnant women around the world are thinking nowadays.

Between my last post and now, Zika Virus has suddenly exploded and forcefully captured the world's attention. Although the virus hasn't reached Singapore, I live everyday in paranoia. 2 days ago, I got bitten by a mosquito on the back of my hand and I FREAKED OUT. The primary concern is that 80% of the people who got the virus shows no symptoms. So for all we know, the virus has been silently infiltrating the population for all we know.

And I keep forgetting to put on my insect repellent. And it's way too hot to cover myself from head to toe when I go out. I've been keeping away from parks and gardens, and known mosquito hotspots.


2. The Baby Bump
My tummy is finally showing. Sort of. I have to wear really tight dresses before people go "Oh baby bump!" Otherwise, it just disappears into normal tees and airy dresses. But it IS turning into some sort of mini table.

My BMI is now 20.4. I miss my BMI reading of 18, and have to keep reminding myself that I'm sharing 20.4 with another human being. Hey baby, please return my flat tummy to me after you come out ok!


3. Sleeping Position
Having a growing fetus means sleeping woes. Although tummy is not quite that big yet, I can no longer lie facing up for longer than 10 minutes before feeling uncomfortable. And forget about lying face down. I haven't been able to do that since OHSS.

For some reason, lying on the left side was more comfortable than lying on the right side, where there is a slight pain in my lower abdomen. Dr Google says lying on the left side is better too, because the liver in on the right. Well, whatever my body fancies.

And Hubby bought me a maternity pillow for my birthday which just passed. It has the cutest name ever: "Big Flopsy". I mean, how do you not want to hug something called the Big Flopsy!! (Review on Big Flopsy coming up soon)

4. The Flying Kick!
For the longest time, I thought my tummy was rumbling with gas. Until various ex-pregnant mommies confirmed that it's the baby. It's something like rolling waves over a small area; really fast.

And one day, I'm totally convinced when the sudden jab from inside my tummy felt like a disgruntled kick from a little baby. The feeling was like a variation of the waves.

My favorite ultrasound so far; baby's foot!

5. Darling, please get along with my Bladder
During Week 20's scan, I saw the little one punching repeatedly.. at what I assume the general direction of my bladder.

The little one seems to be mortal enemies with my bladder. My toilet runs when I attempt to sleep are an average of 2-5 times a night. To hell with the people who goes "sleep now while you still can". No sweeties, I have forgotten what it was like to sleep through the night. The last time was before the ovum pick up and pre-OHSS days.


Coming Friday's my next clinic visit. No scan this time. I've also been having lots of sharp pains when I walk. Hope everything's fine...

This was from Week 20!

Tokyo's Pregnancy Badge hanging on a bag. I like how it's so unassuming.

As I mentioned in my Week 18 Update post, I have a little baby bump now! Though vaguely visible under selected clothing, it makes me look more fat than pregnant. And no, no one is giving up any seats on the MRT to this preggie yet.

Speaking of public transport seats, any woman who have ever been pregnant will find it ironic. The period of time when a pregnant woman needs the MRT or bus seat the most is during her 1st trimester. We have all these nice human beings who are willing to give up their seats to those who need it (my faith in humanity is high); they just don't know you're dying from the 1st trimester symptoms. And by the time you have a nice rounded baby bump in your 2nd trimester and the nice human beings are giving up their seats to you, you no longer need it as much as a few weeks ago; although it's still nice to be able to rest on the train.

But nice human beings aside, we also have the judgemental nutcases who periodically upload videos of people they judge as being physically fit and thus undeserving of public transport seats onto youtube and Stomp. (How dare the NSman sit on the MRT?! How dare that rotund man not give up his seat to a pregnant woman! Obese men should be exercising not sitting down!) 

And the reasons why these videos go viral almost instantly is because there is a whole demographic of judgemental crazies on the internet whose sole reason for their existence is to engage in cyber witch hunt and to name and shame perceived baddies.

So thanks to these militant nutcases, I didn't even dare to sit on the empty priority seats because I didn't think the best way to announce my pregnancy was by public explanation on social media on why I am starring in a viral youtube video. And this was when I desperately needed to rest from the 1st trimester cramps; dizziness; nausea, breathlessness, acid reflux; gastritis; and all that jazz.

It is times like these that I wished Singapore would adopt the maternity badges or 'Baby on board' badge like in Japan and UK.

In said countries, after you get pregnant, you can apply for a maternity badge to wear in public. This badge is not to pressurize other commuters to give up their seats to you but if nice human beings see it, they will know you're in need of a seat. Most importantly, you can sit in the priority seat without getting all paranoid on "voyeurs" filming you.

So come on Singapore! You called on us to breed! Make us some maternity badges!

And if MCYS decides to implement the maternity badges, please take a page from Japan's design. The maternity badges in Japan are so cute that I wanted to do our babymoon in Japan just to collect the badge! Unfortunately, I couldn't decipher if they give it to pregnant tourists too, and what exactly is the procedure to procure one. There was a period of awareness campaign when they were giving it out at their metro stations in Tokyo, but I believe it's over.

If anyone knows how to get these Japanese maternity badges, please please share with me!

I love this design!! THIS is the one I wanna fly to Japan to collect!!

London's Baby On Board badge. The design is so typically English; Boring.

Maternity badges from other Japanese cities