So it's been 4 days since I was doused with the bucket of cold "You are not pregnant at all". And the period is still not here.

I'm going nuts. Period's almost 2 weeks late, and there are no PMS symptoms at all. I trust the pregnancy blood test completely, but the glimmering spark of hopeful "What if the test was wrong" is getting brighter.

I wish the hospital had some kind of FAQ regarding this.
So I googled the odds. Lots of accounts of women with negative tests months into their pregnancies. My light of hope burnt brighter. But then, I streamlined the search to just the IVF ones. It seems the progesterone delays the period. Some women had delayed periods of up to 3 weeks after a failed cycle, attributed to the progesterone.

I'm laughing and crying at the same time. Oh what have I done to deserve this?! I kept recalling the day of the fresh transfer that didn't happen, and remember how confident the doctor was that the fresh embryos would have worked. But we couldn't do the fresh cycle because I was assaulted with OHSS.

And now after all the trauma, I have to wait weeks to get closure from this cycle in the form of my usual incapacitating period that I hate so much. Why am I being punished for being the woman?
And what if the test was wrong? What if it had all worked after all?

I feel so lonely in this chasm of delirium. Somebody please save me.

I wish I was a cat instead.