(The Two Weeks Wait Trilogy summarises how I spent the hellish 2 weeks Post Embryo Transfer; 6 days at a time.)

Day 7 (23 Apr, Thu)
Woke up feeling like a hyper little kid. Wanted to sing and dance lots. Took a much slower pace after yesterday afternoon's unraveling.

Almost missed the progesterone inserts again today though but made it thanks to the alarm.


Day 8 (24 Apr, Fri)
Exactly 1 week since Alice and Bach were transferred over. Hope they're still in there and find my womb agreeable.


Day 9 (25 Apr, Sat)
Woke up to very light brown discharge. Conflicting info on early pregnancy symptoms online... All alleged symptoms are exactly the same as period symptoms.

Had steamboat.


Day 10 (26 Apr, Sun)
Watched 'Avengers: Age Of Ultron'.

Fantasized baby names with hubby. Had ramen.


Day 11 (27 Apr, Mon)
Paranoid all day if the period's going to come soon.


Day 12 (28 Apr, Tue)
REALLY paranoid about the period coming... Met up with my bestie who is 6 months pregnant. Learned a lot of preggie stuff from her. Sounds.. un-fun. Hope I have a chance to find out personally how un-fun exactly it is.


(Photo source: Google)

Oh everybody knows how it's like. The moment you don the wedding gown and thereafter, The Question gets fired at you endlessly, especially from relatives who have no imagination for conversation starters.


"When are you planning to have a baby?"

"Your parents are getting old, you should get a baby soon"

"Why are you waiting? You should have a kid!"

"Look at (insert cousin's name) and (some other name). They're having their 2nd kid. When's your turn!"

"You've already been married for 2 years, when's the kid coming along?"

"Kids are awesome! When are you having one too!"

"You're not young anymore, you should have a baby soon"


Over the years, every single time The Question is tuned my way, I impress myself with a display of dazzling self-restraint not to fire back an equally rude salvo. ("When are you planning to lose weight? You look like a hippo." / "Fine. Lend us your room. We'll make one right now.")

Only our parents are qualified to ask The Question. ("If you're not the one who participated in the act of birthing me, please go bother your own kids.")

And don't even get me started on why is the female usually the one on the receiving end of these questions.

Sometimes I wonder if they deliberately aim to annoy or are just downright insensitive. There is no such thing as 'well meaning' to The Question, just pure nosiness. And there are lots of reasons why people do not have kids.

1. They may be enjoying their couple-hood now and maybe plan for kids in the future. (Like we were)

2. They may be facing infertility issues; in which case, the only thing that intrusive question brings is misery. (Like we are now)

3. They may not even like kids at all! (Like Hubby used to)


So if you are one of those nosy aunts (and uncles!) or giddy new parents who thinks you're being 'well-meaning', this is a guide for you:

Basic Guide to not be an A-hole to the childless people around you:

When you have a new baby,

You don't get some kind of default entitlement to say: "So when's your turn?" to every other childless married friend that comes along to congratulate you. Chances are your friends won't rejoice as sincerely with you the next time you get knocked up.

When you're stuck in an awkward family dinner,

The best conversation starter is NOT "So when are you having a baby?"
If you feel an irresistible urge to break some deafening silence, please talk about the weather instead of inquiring about breeding programs.

When you get hit with a wave of verbal diarrhoea on how awesome your kid is,

Please turn around and talk to the wall instead. If they didn't ask, that means NO ONE is interested in hearing you brag about how smart junior is. Look closer and you'll see that their polite smiles are cracking with boredom.

When you feel like it is your responsibility to educate the world on why they should have kids:

The world don't give a rat's hiney what you think. Please go away.

Image source: stoven2005

The notoriously mentally challenging post embryo transfer 2 weeks wait is actually 18 days for me. The Two Weeks Wait Trilogy summarises how I spent these 2 weeks; 6 days at a time.

Day 1 (17 Apr, Fri)
Exhausted after the procedure. Slept plenty. Developed a cough but too scared to take medicine thanks to all the dubious online articles I read from unqualified sources.


Day 2 (18 Apr, Sat)
Still tired. Cough morphing into flu.

Advised to do light activities so went shopping. Bought another Thomas Sabo karma bead for my 'Forest Tea Party' charm bracelet as a milestone / good luck charm for the embryo transfer.


Day 3 (19 Apr, Sun)
Slightly feverish from the flu. Trying hard not to worry about whether this will affect the embryos.


Day 4 (20 Apr, Mon)
Back to work. Putting on weight already, or is that just in my head?


Day 5 (21 Apr, Tue)
Work piled up. Full day of contract negotiations, handling recruitment work and interviewed for a documentary till almost 12am.

Not only did I miss dinner, I missed the afternoon progesterone inserts! And I was only able to do the night inserts at 1am; 16 hours after the last dosage (supposed to be 6-8 hours apart)!

I am such an idiot. Please hang in there, Alice and Bach!


Day 6 (22 Apr, Wed)
Fatigue from the previous day spilled over.

Had literal nightmares all night on rushing my progesterone dosage over and over again. Woke up drained but determined not to miss the inserts again. Work took over almost immediately and it wasn't until 10:30am that I realised I hadn't had the progesterone yet!!

Exhausted, felt weak, and starting to unravel. Got very emotional at one point in the afternoon, but still rational enough to know I'm being irrational.

Successfully pinned all blame at the hormones and pieced myself back together by end of the day...

How many embryos should we transfer? That was the question that plagued us from the beginning of our IVF journey.

I'm 32 this year. Here where I live (Singapore), the legal maximum embryo transfer for my age group is 2. But the doctors vehemently encourage single embryo transfer to 'minimize risks of multiple births'.

Now that's the part where we were confused about. We were total noobs and had no idea what was wrong with multiple births. My cousin who went through IVF delivered a healthy set of triplets. So why the fuss?

I have never had any aversion to twins. In fact, I wanted 2 kids and having twins would mean I never have to go through with the IVF nightmare again! Also, there are numerous studies done which shows that the younger child typically inherits less of the mother's body resources due to the stress that comes with every pregnancy and childbirth. Following that line of thought, it's only right to assume that the mother's resources will be split evenly for twins. So like twins are the way to go, right?

That is, until Dr Jerry Chan impressed us on the risks of multiple births. He was appalled that we wanted twins. Multiple births apparently had a whole salad bowl of increased risks which includes:

- Gestational diabetes
- Premature birth
- Low birth weight
- Pre-eclampsia
- Cerebral Palsy etc.

Woah. That sounds really scary. All I want are for my babies to be healthy. So hubby decided that we should do the responsible thing and only transfer 1 embryo. But even so, never mind not having twins; what if that single embryo do not make it? Each procedure costs 5 digit, and each time is a nightmare. And when I see all the photos of heathy twins behind the doctor's desk, I feel all brave again.

On the days leading up to the Fresh Embryo Transfer, the choice was difficult to make. 1 or 2 embryos?

On the day of the scheduled Fresh Transfer, I was still undecided. But then, OHSS kicked in, and the right to make the decision was wrenched out of our hands. My body did not allow me to go through with the transfer. 4 embryos were freezed and the 'prettier looking' 4 embryos went through blastocyst. 3 days later, the blastocyst embryos all failed to survive.

I now only had 4 little embryos left, sleeping in a -250 degree celcius box.

And so, for the Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET), the doctor's default recommendation was 2 embryos. I didn't have 2 pretty looking embryos with an "almost confirmed chance" of maturing into twins anymore. The pretty ones didn't make it after being 'blasted'.

It felt like some kind of poetic destiny or something. Some things are just not meant to be option.

I just did the FET last Friday with the 2 embryos I've nicknamed 'Alice and Bach' (the remaining 2 sleeping ones are Caeser and Destiny), and am now into the 3rd day of the the 2-weeks wait. I see the possibility that I may go mad with the anticipation by the end of the first week, never mind survive the 2 weeks with a sane head.

Will both embryos survive or will even one make it at all??

Share with me, would you want twins after knowing all the risks involved?

Here are some IVF Tips that I wish I had on how to cope before I started the IVF party. For anyone who has not gone through this before and is about to embark on their journey!


1. Keep your body strong and healthy

Once the IVF procedure starts, you may or may not be disposed enough to do real exercises. So try to keep your body constitution good and immunity high by doing regular exercises in the lead up to your IVF procedure. Falling sick while pumping your body with hormonal drugs can be a real bitch. I unfortunately went down with food poisoning in the middle of my IVF, and it was not fun.

So take responsibility for your body and ensure your body is in tip top condition as best as you can.

Tips include:
- Avoid a sore throat and bad cough by taking it easy with fried food and cold drinks
- Avoid a cold or flu by not exposing yourself to wet weather or sudden extreme temperature changes

2. Anticipate a hormonal sandstorm of side effects 

This highly depends on the individual's body constitution. What you and especially your partner need to anticipate is the possibility of you turning into a werewolf like you do during PMS. The people around you must understand in advance that if you descend into a moody snappy abyss, it's the hormones talking, not you.

Then there are the bodily discomforts. What I went through included slight feverish feelings, random nausea spells, heat flushes, headaches, and an assortment of other hormonal cocktail. I didn't know about the side effects beforehand and seriously thought I was falling sick. I've heard that weight gain is normal. Luckily for me, I didn't gain more than a couple of 100grams.


3. Set an alarm for your injections, and portion your medication in pill cases in advance

If you're even half the scatterbrain like me, you should become best friends with the alarm on your calendar. I did after I almost missed a couple of Lucrin injections. Also, the medication will become so routine that you will forget if you had it already. So it really helps to portion your pills beforehand. If necessary, you can even label the date/time to ingest them.

My 'chocolate' pill case

4. Anticipate a haphazard schedule of visits to the hospital

This means do your holidaying BEFORE you start the IVF procedure. Or other stuff like renovation plans and so on. Keep your schedule absolutely free and on the beck and call of the hospital.


5. Keep your environment clean, calm and soothing

6. Pamper yourself silly

Oohh, eat all that chocolate while you can!! Forgive yourself for going on a shopping spree. Just think twice before buying that skimpy dress. For once, you are hoping you won't be able to fit in that in a few months' time.

One of the doodads I splurged on was a Thomas Sabo Karma Bracelet that I had been eyeing on for a while but had no reason to buy it without feeling guilty about spending the money. So I managed to convince myself that buying that will release euphoric endorphins that will combat the hormonal sandstorm caused by the Lucrin. It totally worked.

Guilt-free shopping rocks!

Oh and get a massage! After you're pregnant, you'll read so many unscientific literature on why you can't get a massage that you'll be too damned scared to get one. So now is a good time to get a nice soothing rub.

Said doodad: Thomas Sabo Karma bracelet with Tree of Life and Rose Quartz charm

7. Work from home
Changing my operations to be home-based is one of the best decisions I made 2 years ago. It helps when I need to take sudden breaks from the side effects, or when it is time for the injections. Lucrin and Menopur needs to be chilled constantly so it's a relief to not have to ferry them around in ice bags all the time.

Whenever I think of all the women who has to work in the office while going through IVF, I really have to take my metaphorical hat off them. See if you can negotiate with your boss for a temporary work from home arrangement if you can.



8. Brief hiatus from pregnant friends and proud mommies

The hormonal sandstorm can be exhausting, and at the back of your mind, the fear that everything won't work out is very real. It's stressful enough to have to wade through the 1001 baby pictures with gushing captions that your friends upload onto Facebook. It can be a bigger challenge to your sanity when your new-mommy friends proudly brag about how smart their juniors are (they can't restrain themselves, they tried), or when your pregnant friends talk about their exciting preparations to welcome their babies. And even if you won't admit it, you really are envious to death at your friends who can breed by virtue of humping like rabbits.

I'm definitely not saying to stay away from them. I love my friends! But just for these few weeks, at least until your embryo transfer is complete, maybe reserve the days as quality time to bond with your partner instead.


9. In case of OHSS... 

OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) is relatively rare so don't lose sleep worrying about whether you'll get it if it hasn't happened to you.

But if you really do strike OHSS lottery like me, there is no known medication for OHSS but the doctors will give you hormone drugs to calm the hormonal storm in your body. It will go away on its own eventually so try your best to put up with the crippling pain for now. You are not alone, and it will be over soon! I promise!

(My OHSS Ordeal is documented here)


10. Stay positive and happy

And finally, positivity and staying happy is the key!

Here's a cute picture of a kitten to make you smile. Good luck to you!

Our 2 little embryos: Alice and Bach

Finally, after all that hormonal sandstorm since February, today is finally the day of the embryo transfer or what they call "Art Thaw" (short for Artificial Thaw. I should do a post on all the acronyms I had to pick up on this journey).

It was mostly waiting. I had a full bursting bladder and a sleepy hubby at my side while I lay nervously on the operating bed.

I felt totally vulnerable. This was the 3rd time I was in the same bed. The first time for the OPU (Ovum Pick UP), the second time for the Almost Fresh Transfer that didn't happen because OHSS.

I hope this is the last time I'll have to lay here.

The 1 hour wait was excruciating, both mentally and 'bladderly'. After I jovially threatened to pee on the bed a few times (the nurse didn't laugh with me and Hubby but instead made nervous urgent calls to the doctor to hurry up), the doctor finally turned up.

My legs were spread open in that vulnerable compromising position by the nurse, and the doctor proceeded to rummage through my vagina.

He inserted a long thin pipe was inserted. It was really painful and I whined a little. The nurse promised the most painful part was over.

And now, the most important part. The lab next door popped the image of my 2 little embryos on the TV screen in front of me. Alice and Bach; the 1st 2 of my 4 surviving embryos.

They snapped a picture of the last moment of Alice and Bach on the microscopic dish and the embryologist was on her way over.

The doctor inserted another thinner tube through the pipe and OH MY GOD IT HURT LIKE HELL THE NURSE FREAKING LIED TO ME!! My mind fleeted momentarily to the Indian girl who was viciously raped with a steel pipe in that New Delhi bus and the unimaginable pain she must have suffered..

It hurt so bad tears rolled down uncontrollably. I was so glad hubby was there patting my head. It made me feel less... alone.

And then, too long later, it was done. The doctor explained that the my womb was tilted backwards, hence it was harder and more painful to insert the various apparatus. Tilted backwards?? Sounds scary. I hope it won't affect the pregnancy...

The embryologist explained the embryo shapes (we're total noobs!). Alice (right embryo) looks hopeful, with 4 split cells. Bach only had 2 cells so we have to hope that it splits further or it won't make it.


For some reason, I was completely drained after the procedure. We went home and I almost immediately plopped down onto the bed and into an exhausted slumber, with the cat curled at my feet.

Half an hour later, I was awoken to an ache in my abdomen that was chillingly reminiscent of the pain I suffered during my OHSS Ordeal. It haunted me for a few hours before it went away (hopefully forever!). Menstrual-like cramps plagued me for the rest of the day.

Oh please please make it Alice and Bach! I can so foresee that the following 2 weeks is gonna be trying...

A back-dated post about my experience on the day I felt like a hen getting my eggs harvested.


19 March 2015 (Thu)

Today was the day! I felt excited. After almost a month of injection and routine rape by the ultrasound probe, today was finally the day we do the egg retrieval..

I was nervous. Would it hurt very much? I would be sedated so hopefully I wouldn't feel a thing.

The friendly nurse got me to put on the operation gear before leading me to the waiting area where 2 other ladies were chatting.

The waiting area was hilarious. It consisted of 5 seats against the wall, overlooking the entire working area of the nurses. Occasionally, one of the nurses would feel a bit self-conscious at being observed by the waiting ladies and would pull a curtain drape as some sort of separator.

The drape was about 1 inch in front of the seats and created the most claustrophobic enclave ever. So one of the waiting ladies would always open it after a few minutes until the next nurse pulls it shut again.

I don't know which smart guy conceived the drape idea, but I was thoroughly amused.

The day before yesterday, the ultrasound scan had turned up the following results:

No. of Follicles and Size (mm) - Right Ovaries

1 = 16.5
2 = 15
3 = 14.5
4 = 14.5
5 = 12.5
6 = 11.5
7 = 11
8 = 10.5
9 = 11
10 = 12
11 = 11
12 = 10.5

No. of Follicles and Size (mm) - Left Ovaries

I'm on my 4th dosage of Progynova today. These symptoms only started after the 2nd day of medication. Either these are side effects or something else is wrong with my body

1. Giddiness
My head spins every time I stand up from a sitting position and takes at least 10 seconds for the world to get itself upright. Prolonged walking gets me all light-headed and a little unsteady on my feet.

2. Heat flushes
It is SO WARM! I am almost sweating in well air-conditioned shopping malls. Hubby who has a low tolerance for heat confirms that I'm the only one feeling the heat

3. Mild cramps
My period cramps usually only last on the first to second day. It has now ended but I feel periodic cramps on my lower back

4. Mild nausea
Periodic. Like right now.

One of the food I craved so damned much during the first few days of my OHSS was strangely mee siam. I was at the hospital when I was suddenly hit with a bizarre craving for the sweet, sour, and spicy gravy of this Peranakan dish.

I almost forgot all about this craving until today's lunch.

Mee Siam, local Singapore delicacy

My BMI is finally back to normal, my tummy finally flattened, the pain finally gone, and I can finally do my little dance to celebrate!

The only symptom remaining from last week, which I'm not even sure is still related to OHSS is an intense pain in the lower abdomen every time I poo.

Oh well, let's observe and hope it goes away real soon too.

It's been a horrible March. I hope April will be better.

OHSS Final Log - Today's BMI: 18.6

28 March 2015 (Sat)

I must have visited the loo at least 5-6 times last night. Each time was a rain of torrential piss. I've never pissed so much in my life within such a short period of time.

And when I scrutinized myself in the morning, I only look around 1 month pregnant now. Weighing machine says I've lost half the weight I put on. My ribs were also going "peek-a-boo, miss me?"

If not for the pain still stubbornly tugging at my ovaries, I'd have done a little dance to celebrate.

This is the beginning of the end of OHSS. I can't wait to get back to the embryo transfer after this painful detour!


OHSS Log - Today's BMI: 19.4 

First time in my life that I'm losing pounds just by pissing buckets.